Black Femmes Matter? Why is it so Hard to Care About Black Women?

It is more of an offense for Black women to talk about their pain than it is to inflict pain on Black women. Meg Thee Stallion is another disheartening example in a long history of neglect. This country does not care about Black Women.

Black women need to stay strong against all odds. We need to shoulder everyone else’s problems when no one else helps us with our own. And it doesn’t matter how nice we are or how influential, we can die and no one would have a care in the world. As always, the most disrespected, unprotected and neglected person in America is the Black women (Malcolm X).

Do you know how frustrating it is to wake up every day and realize that your life just simply does not matter. You die and your death only amounts to a meme, a tiktok trend, an afterthought only fit for a post on an aesthetic Instagram feed.

Will Our Lives Ever Matter?

Someone shoots Megan Thee Stallion. Two bullets were in her feet. Yet no one thought about whether or not she was okay. It was a joke. Even to people within the Black community. And yes I’m pointing the finger at cisgender, heterosexual Black men who for some reason, want us to fight for them tooth and nail but will turn around and simp for every other group of women on the planet except us (just kidding, maybe if you’re lightskinned they’ll care, maybe).

Sandra Bland. Atatiana Jefferson. Breonna Taylor.

These are the names of women we forgot. The names of women whose lives only began to matter when they ended, and even then, they still didn’t matter that much.

Now let’s circle back to Megan Thee Stallion. One of the most ICONIC rappers of our generation (notice I didn’t put female before that on purpose). She defined the song of the summer, not once but TWICE, and she probably will again. She birthed a tiktok trend with flavor and she is everyone’s good sis who just wants to see us hotties thrive.

Even When Black Women Are Magical, We Still Don’t Deserve Protection

But none of that matters because at the end of the day, she is a Black woman. So when someone shoots her, the thought that she even feels pain does not occur to anyone. Like Breonna Taylor, she became a meme. Her trauma resulted in a meme.

Just think for a second, had it been Kylie Jenner who got shot by Tory Lanez, you think people would’ve been as nonchalant? There would’ve been thinkpieces, articles on every news platform, and fans “sending love.” Even before we knew she got shot, that video of her being stopped by the police was traumatic. I felt trauma watching that video. But there were no thinkpieces for Megan. Few tweets asked if she was okay. News outlets stayed quiet. Instead, the message was “okay fellas, we shooting [girls] all 2020.” As if our strength is enough to shoulder everything from bad apples to bullets.

Let’s also not ignore the colorism in the situation. Megan is a dark skinned Black woman and if there is anything I learned during Quarantine, it is how much people don’t care about dark-skinned Black women. There are so many memes and tweets insulting dark-skinned women for no reason and the second colorism is brought up, people are quick to attack instead of understand (thus proving the point entirely).

Colorism is a Rampant and Undeniable Truth

Dark-skinned women are always wrong and always worthy of less protection just because they are the furthest away from whiteness. This anti-blackness is prevalent for dark-skinned women of all minority groups but especially for Black women.

Even other Black women (*cough cough* Draya Michele) could not find sympathy or concern for Megan. And yes, there is a prevalence of this behavior among light-skinned Black women.

I’m so sorry for Megan thee stallion. Not because she’s a celebrity. Not because she makes good music. I am sorry because she is a person. Period. She is also a person who just had the rudest awakening in the public eye. Understanding that all the people who say they care about Black women only care about us when they can benefit from our talents and our culture is a terrible realization to make. The care stops when it’s time to actually show up.

Black Women Should Not Have to Beg to Receive Care

I especially hurt because she is just a regular 25 year old. Everyone closest to her has passed like her mother and her grandmother. She thought she found a chosen family of people who had her best interests at heart. Instead, some of those “friends” quickly sold her out to the tabloids.

However, it brings me joy that regardless of what happens, Black women continue to support and uplift each other. Rihanna has cut ties with Draya Michele after her comments and sent Meg flowers wishing her a speedy recovery. Beyoncé has also sent Meg her support. Empowered women empower women. Period. Although it does sadden me that the only people there for Black women are other Black women.

Love on Black women As Much As You Love Black Culture

One day, I hope we live in a world where we truly care about Black women. I wish that we were not the only ones there for us when times are tough. I hope that more people can support, protect and care for Black women. Times like this make me grateful for the people who do care about Black women. Hopefully more people will pull up for us at a moment’s notice the same way we pull up for them.

Ask yourself, how you can better support us? Black women: please only take your time, talents and wonderful energies to people and places where you feel appreciated. Surround yourself with people who will be there for you. Form relationships with those who care about you and love you out loud. You deserve care, protection and affection. Always.

Love, your good sis❤️

(PS: Drop me an email or a DM and I’ll pull up for you if you need someone. Let’s support and uplift each other and hopefully, our allies will follow suit and do the same.)

Daily reminder: Always care about Black women.