Love and Relationships

Socially Distanced Intimacy: 🎵Let’s Talk About (Phone) Sex Baby🎵

Phone sex is a great way to explore a different form of intimacy, especially in these times of social distancing.

Quarantine has been rough for many reasons and whether you’re boo’d up, just chattin’ or straight up entangled, sometimes you just need something to take the pressure off in spite of the distance. Most of my friends find the idea of phone sex awkward and at first it is. In your head you’re probably just imagining you and your partner butt naked hearing the sound of each other breathing in a way that you really never wanted to hear before. But trust me, it is NOT that.

Phone Sex Can be Really Freeing

I know phone sex can sound strange at first because there really is nothing like physical contact between you and your person but, this is a really good way to still maintain a form of intimacy in spite of geographical limitations. It can also reinvigorate the way you look at sex with your partner(s). And Facetime is really good at getting ALLLL the angles that you might not necessarily get to see when you’re actually in person.

My advice is to try it once and see if it could work for you. It might be awkward when you first get on the call but my advice for that is to just make it an experience. Do what you need to do to feel turned on. Whether that’s wearing lingerie, being straight up naked or wearing those grey sweatpants you know they like. Maybe you’re in the bathtub. Could be in your bed. There’s also the possibility of the kitchen counter. Find a location that works for you and do what you need to do to feel sexy. Wear your Savage x Fenty or your birthday suit, as long as you’re comfortable. Just be open and go into it with a desire to explore and to please yourself and your partner(s).

Be Comfortable and Be Open

Set the mood. Light candles, dim the lights, get your diffuser going for some aromatherapy. Make your environment feel sensual to you and relaxing to you.

With regards to the phone situation, it could be a good ole Facetime or Whatsapp call. Or even a zoom call (lol) on your laptop. Set it up at an angle you like so it’ll be static if holding the phone is too much or maybe you need both your hands free🤗😏

To start, you can look at your partner for visual stimulation or ask them what they want. Don’t feel pressure to make it incredibly steamy from the jump. Feel free to get a little unconventional with this part and use your imagination (and any toys at your disposal). Phone sex seems weird at first but once you and your partner(s) start, you might be surprised by how much you like it.

Make it Simple

Phone sex can be as simple as you just getting out of the shower and calling your partner/hookup to tease them as you put on lotion or body oil. It’s really whatever you make it. Call them when you’re sucking on a lollipop even. As long as it brings you joy/pleasure, the littlest things can be sensual.

For those of us in our parent’s house (I feel you mate, truly), some tips to keep in mind:

  1. Lock your door
  2. Reserve your calls for late at night. You probably can’t do random calls during the day because of family members being out and about. However, setting these calls up at nighttime inherently sets the mood anyway.
  3. Build up the anticipation during the day. Send flirty texts, snap them sexy pics and get excited for what you’re going to do later.
  4. Moan all you need to but be mindful that sound can travel.
  5. Headphones! I cannot stress that enough.
  6. Like I said before, lighting candles and using essential oils are great ways to make the environment more sensual, even if it is your childhood bedroom.
  7. Let loose!! All those thoughts you have about your partner when you’re zoning out during family dinner, this is their time to shine. Tell them exactly what you want. Don’t be shy. Trust me, they’ll love hearing what’s been on your mind.
  8. Go rounds! If you and your partner(s) finished one round but aren’t tired or satisfied, go again if you’d like. Take it to the shower or something (just make sure no one can hear lmao). Point is, have fun with it and explore.
  9. Have your “after sex talk.” That same conversation you’d have when you’re resting on your partner’s chest after you hook up, do it here. Cuddle up under the sheets and talk to them (if they’re still awake).
  10. Spontaneously call your partner and tease them. That after shower call when you’re all wet and in your towel is a killer for sure. And if they don’t answer, send them a pic to show them what they missed. I guarantee you they’ll pick up next time.

Quarantine is really showing us how we can redefine intimacy and it’s an amazing opportunity to open new doors with you and your sexual partner(s). Maybe you’ll learn something about your sexual desires that you didn’t know before? If you do try it, enter into it with an open mind and remember, this is really what you make it😘

Happy sexting, friends! 😉

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